I’m tired of random unfortunate instances happening to me. I thought I’ve been building up some good karma for myself. I guess I just have to wait a little bit longer. Instead I get landed with sifting through last nights garbage bag. And I also had to get a replacement key for my apartment. I can pretty much feel the look of disgust confusion emanating off my computer screen. “Oh gorsh, Sarah! However can these two stories possibly have any relation?” Oh.  They do. Story of my awkward life coming your way. I decided to escape the heat of my apartment for a somewhat cooler environment at my parents place. I get there. Watching some Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Highlight. As I’m about to leave to go back to my place for a change before work. My keys are gone. Poof.  Without a trace. So now I’m a hot mess; emotionally and literally. I’m ripping my parents’ house to pieces, 30 minutes before work looking for my damn keys. Fuck. Me. I looked everywhere. 20 minutes. I looked under cushions, under tables. Fuck it, I even check cupboards and the goddamn refrigerator. 10 minutes. Cue frantic call to work. 5 minutes. Irrational anger towards my mother who is the only one keeping a level head. Of course. That always happens. Yell at the one who is actually being proactive. Who felt like an asshole? This bitch. -5 minutes. Then I headed over to the admin. office for a new key. Fuck it. I give up. I’m guessing they disappeared in a fit of spontaneous combustion. As I called my mom to apologize, she asked if they could have been thrown in the trash. Stupid idea. ….Maybe? So there I was. Outside. Platform heels and silk pants adorned, looking into a bag of garbage. And, no. Not there. Still MIA. At least I’ve kept my car key separate. I’m going to post my keys’ picture on the back of milk cartons. Keep an eye out, yeah? One has a Hello Kitty key! God speed!